Ignore these signs that he no longer loves you at your own risk and fear …
“I will always love you, but not the way I used to,” said my already ex-husband at breakfast. I was shocked. He had just got back from a month’s business trip. I understood that he cooled down while he was away, but I couldn’t just realize that my husband had stopped loving me. It was as if I was knocked down..
When love passes, it’s one of those horrible episodes of life that we don’t want to think about. At first we think that it only seems to us, that in reality everything is good. We rarely stop and ask ourselves: “Does he love me?” But pretty soon it becomes clear that something is really wrong.
When a relationship that was once hot slowly turns to ash, we tend to go into crisis mode – especially if we still love. Then, without learning how to fix our relationship or deal with the breakup, we are either desperately trying to get our husband to fall in love with us again, or completely stick our heads in the sand. We can start messing around and googling “why do men lose interest” or “if a husband doesn’t love his wife what are the signs”. Or we can fantasize about a hot affair we might have with someone else. We call our friends and endlessly analyze what we should do about the situation…
Since women are usually the ones who control, protect and maintain relationships – I am writing this to women, although the signs of someone falling out of love apply to both genders.
Here you can find out about signs when a husband no longer loves his wife. They derived from horrific, painful personal experiences and extensive research.
Signs that your husband no longer loves
1. He needs a lot of “space”
Remember the feeling when you were always missing each other? This bliss is slowly replaced by the fact that your loved one is avoiding you or suddenly has to “find himself.” He may be absent for hours or days. You can still spend time together, but now he doesn’t contact you like he used to. He may have a reasonable excuse for not spending time together, such as “I have to work late,” “I had a terrible week,” or “We were planning on doing X, Y, or Z with a friend.” No matter what excuses he uses, it becomes difficult to reach him. When he spends time with you, he acts like he is doing a great service. All this only draws attention to the fact that something is wrong between you.
2. He stops doing something for you or does something aggressively.
Previously, he would run through hoops of fire to make you smile. But when a person loses interest, he becomes more and more selfish. He may have stopped giving small gifts or caring. If the husband has stopped loving his wife, the first thing he does is pulling away from her emotionally.
3. He talks about your relationship with negativity.
Men are problem solvers. If they see a problem, they start solving it. This naturally extends to relationships with the women they love. A devoted man will want to correct the conflict and improve relations with the woman in his life. If he loves you, he will want to improve the situation between you. When he stops loving, his tone changes: sincere curiosity, love and respect turns into humble, hopeless complaints. He often begins to ask the question: “What is all this for?” and says things like “I’m just not happy anymore.” These are clear signs that he no longer loves, and he is trying to figure out how to fix the relationship or undo the life that you built together.
4. He does not want to stay in touch
Communication has become irregular. Previously, he was flirtatious, chatty and talkative, now he is reserved and laconic. If someone stops loving, he tends to avoid frequent contact.
5. He behaves differently during conflicts
When people lose love for each other, they resolve difficulties in a different way than before. All couples have their own individual style of behavior in the conflict. Some people fight like cats and dogs, but they reconcile very passionately. Others rarely quarrel and always make an effort to work together to solve problems. Two people in a relationship usually have some kind of consistent method for how to deal with conflicts. When love weakens, so does the desire to resolve conflict. Often people refuse to argue entirely. The husband, if he no longer loves his wife, often simply refuses to argue, instead he just calms her down so that he can then do what he wants. Instead of worrying about rebuilding the relationship, they are concerned with minimizing inconveniences.
6. He stops responding to your “bets”
Have you noticed how you usually interact with your partner during the day: flirting, texting about the weather, sharing little stories? Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman calls these contact attempts “bets.” In his study, Gottman found that people who stayed together responded positively to partner bets 86% of the time. Couples who divorced responded positively only to 33%. I don’t recommend starting to count how many times your husband ignores you, but if he regularly turns down attempts to talk to him, this is most likely a sign that he no longer loves you.
7. You started walking on the edge of a knife.
A loving husband begins to treat you rudely. He makes disrespectful or negative comments that may seem insignificant at first glance, but in reality they are not. He may compare your relationship with another couple. He may disrespectfully compare you to other women. Or he may say obscene things under his nose while you are talking, and then deny that he said them. Everything that you do seems to suddenly annoy him. His loving voice of approval is replaced by a disapproving voice of displeasure. You begin to feel like you are walking on the edge of a knife – expecting the next insult or nagging criticism.
8. Sexual life has flushed down the toilet
There are many natural reasons why your sex life can be weakened. In a healthy relationship, it doesn’t matter how often a couple has sex as long as they agree. Usually, when the relationship becomes problematic, one person has lost interest in sex, and the other suffers from a lack of intimacy. When your husband stops loving you, the problem is not only the lack of sex, but also that your requests are ignored.
9. He’s got weird and hides his phone.
You may not be the # 1 priority when you’re not together, but he can stay glued to the phone when you’re together to distract himself from the reality of where he’s with you. If he flirts with other women, he may never part with his phone for fear that you will find out that he was emotionally unfaithful (if not worse). He guards his phone like a dragon protecting his gold.
What to do when you see signs that your husband no longer loves you
We have been taught that when someone stops loving, that it’s the end. Unfortunately, this is not so. Ask any happy married couple how they stayed together till now, and if they’re honest, they’ll admit that their love story wasn’t perfect 24/7. In marriage, love goes up and down all the time. It’s OK.
If you feel your love cooling, first, don’t panic or try to desperately demonstrate your love to get him to communicate with you. It never works, you can’t make the person fall in love with you. Love is like a saw. When one person does more, the other person automatically does less. That is why the excessive manifestation of love only leads to the loss of his respect and pushes him even further. And if you feel an overwhelming urge to do something right now to keep love from going away, I don’t blame you. I know very well what it is. But my advice is: “You have to back down for a while”. You might be thinking, “This is the last thing I need to do. I need to fix everything!” But believe me, often, retreating and working on yourself is exactly the kind of powerful magic you need to get your husband back.
